Envy is one of the 7 Deadly Sins, but I am not talking about that “envy”.  The Envy I’m referring to is a variety of apple.  Envy is my absolute, most favorite variety of apple.   When I bite into an Envy apple it is just the perfect crisp, the perfect juicy, and the perfect sweet. The produce manager is my best friend for introducing me to Envy.

From apples to dementia…  Deep onto dementia, my husband, Roger, invites me to stay present and experience moments with him.  Lewy Body Dementia, causes wide fluctuations in awareness and responsiveness from day to day, and sometimes from hour to hour. So I ride this roller coaster with Roger.  I want to be with him, so I have to pay attention to how he is engaging with the world at the moment.  We don’t have conversations, we have experiences. Some days he will enjoy looking at books about animals, insects or an Atlas of the U.S.  On other days, he keeps his eyes closed and may want me to read to him so he can hear about these topics. On the days he is not able to leave his world and join me, I rub lotion on his hands or wipe his face with a cool washcloth so he can feel my love.

I see,hear, feel and taste more each day because Roger is teaching me to be present and experience life. I relish every bite of my Envy apple and never rush the experience. I laugh and I cry with gusto.  There were times when Roger was well that I was not really present; I wasn’t paying attention to him.  Now I beg Roger to pay attention to me.